Monday, October 8, 2012

Balance (August 4, 2012)



Remember the Warren G song, Regulator?  I though of these lyrics today:
      They took my rings, they took my Rolex
       I looked at the brotha’ and said “Damn, what’s next?!”

That’s what I wanted to say to Uganda, Africa, the world, universe, or whatever entity that wanted to listen and could tip the scales, not necessarily in my favor, but at least to be balanced.  It was lots of little things, really…. cracks in my Chacos, a hole getting burned into one of my new shirts (that was clean, but being ironed for the second time because it’s been rumpled up in my bag for two weeks, which I’ve not worn 10 times yet), my PC battery dying, my travel adaptor “refusing” (as they say here in Uganda) to charge my PC, (I’m convinced the adaptor and battery are in cahoots against me b/c the adaptor works with everything else and other adaptors work on my PC) and the ongoing saga of not being able to retrieve photos from my memory cards.

I left America two months ago today and I still haven’t moved into a place of my own. So, I thought to myself “Don’t I deserve for all my electronics to work, have intact comfortable Chacos (once the crack in my heel goes away), and “smart” button-down shirts without holes if I don’t have my own place?!!  Don’t I deserve these things if I don’t get the other?  No, I don’t. 

On our bike “boda” ride home, I realized how I had taken my frustrations out on Marcus and almost got defensive with him when he was just giving me suggestions about my memory card.  The Peace Corps Malaria Team is having a photo contest, but I probably won’t get to enter.  This is really frustrating and disappointing to me.  But Marcus was right. I’m not doing anything about this problem.  So, it’s not fair for me to feel like so many things are against me if I’m not being proactive about finding a solution. 

This boda ride helped me gain some perspective. The boda driver for Linda had a slightly crossed eye, which had a milky spot on it. But he had a great smile and demeanor. This immediately pained my heart, and made me realize that I should be grateful for how healthy I am.  I kept thinking, if this guy were in the U.S., some of his vision problems could have been corrected as a child.  Maybe he would have had a better job than making 1000 shillings (less than 50 cents) for taking a muzungu (foreign) woman home.

And here I am, worried about my three “gadgets” that most Ugandans will never be able to afford or have the luxury of using. I know that I can afford to purchase a new PC battery, or iPad card reader, or to pay someone to fix the problem. I might have to order some of those things from America, but I am lucky enough to have a mother who can afford to pay over $50 to ship them here.  But again, I have the luxury of so many options and time. 

On that bike ride, I kept thinking about my Dad, who was seeing me off to Japan at the Nashville Airport with the rest of my family in 2003.  While the rest of us were in tears, he looked at me and said “This is your choice”.  At the time, 23 year-old Ashley was somewhat hurt because I felt he was implying that it was my fault I was crying; that it was my choice to be sad. Over the years, it’s been comical for those of you who knew my Dad was a bit of a stoic.  But, now 32 year-old Ashley is saying “You’re right, Shady”. 

I chose to come to here.  So, with it, I chose to accept all the sadness of leaving people I love, 24-hour power outages, bucket baths, “gadget” failures, cracked heels, holey shirts, all the logistical and cultural frustrations, giving up Western conveniences, and admittedly, sometimes pining for a future with marriage, kids, and a picket fence that would be my reward for enduring all this.  I know it is selfish, even foolish of me to think that I deserve these things and that life works this way.

I have the luxury of walking away from this at any time.  Ugandans can’t. They deserve more options. They deserve for hard-working people to find solutions for their myriad of health problems.  I know that in the next year, Stop Malaria won’t live up to its namesake.  I’m not even really sure how my work with them will even begin to put a dent in the problem.  But I have to give it my best shot, so the focus needs to shift on what they deserve, not me.    

When we got home, I got to listen to and discuss music with Linda and her teenage neighbor, Francis.  We listened to Patsy Cline, Dolly Parton, Jurassic 5, and the Sugarhill Gang.  The music and the company lifted my spirits. I guess things do balance out eventually.    
      

 

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